The past 24 hours have been a little test to my peace-seeking mind. Minor car troubles; a new battery needed. Except it was not that simple; it could have been done yesterday by the willing, helpful souls at O’Reilly auto parts. Except it seems my car has a battery that should only be changed by professionals. Um. Ok. So. This morning I called around, seeking professionals. And the price was essentially the same; between $180 and $200. Now, let’s be clear. I drive a Chevy. It is 3 ½ years old, far, far from top of the line. Even the service writer was surprised a battery change had to be done professionally. But, so it goes. Because it is part of the warranty I pay for, I used Chevy Roadside assistance to come jump the battery, because, of course, the car would not start. And I waited. A long time. Close to an hour past the projected time, which was an hour after the time I called – and if that is not clear enough, it was a two hour wait. I did not get impatient, I did not get frustrated; I was proud. Even when the service person who came to jump the car (after calling first, 30 minutes after the time he should have been here; just to be sure I still needed it?) told me that the battery was not quite dead and it should have started the car just fine. I did not get impatient, but; Ok. Good. You are professional; I am not. I apologize the car did not start. He jumped the battery, it started and he went on his way, and I went on mine. There was a bit of a wait in the waiting room at the Chevy place, and it quickly filled after I got there – with children. I love children. I do. But I am on vacation, and right now children are not on my radar for patience. Still. I was calm. Mommy yelling at her little girl who was continually screaming for candy across the room (that machine doesn't work, I don't have a quarter; it's broken...at no point was the word NO ever uttered from mom) - yes, I was Zen. I waited, trying to read my book. Eventually it was done, and the Chevy people really were nice; the cashier was lovely and kind (I did, however, have to wait to pay, becauser the grandma of the little screaming girl - she was exchanging a dollar to provide candy for the little girl who was all excited now that she was getting her way). I paid my $207.50 and went on my way. As I pulled out of the dealership, the gas light came on (which I knew; I was just afraid to stop yesterday as originally planned). All was fine. I was expecting that. The gas station was full, but I calmly waited my turn, filled up, and all went well. Twenty hours after it was determined that I needed a new battery, I had one, professionally installed. I came home, made myself lunch and have been reading. A few minutes ago I went into my newly created meditation corner, lit a candle, lit some sage and some incense, and I had a lovely quiet, restorative meditation and wiped out the vestiges of what could have been negativity from me. I definitely see the humor in all of the experience, and I see that it was nice to have kept calm and to have done what needed to be done. At the beginning of the summer, when I was fresh from school I am not quite so sure I would have remained so calm.
In May, on the very last day of school for the students, I attended a Spiritual/Breath Work Retreat. It was wonderfully restorative. Three nights spent with like-minded individuals; it was such a good way to begin the summer. I set my intention before I left to shed myself of the negativity that had surrounded me during the school year. I am an empath, a trait which has become clearer, and more prominent over the years. I absorb the good and the bad moods of those around me. Absorbing good intentions and happiness is not necessarily a bad thing, but absorbing negativity can become a heavy burden to carry around. I’ve recently been looking into classes that will help me shed that, and even deflect it so I can avoid the weight I was carrying earlier this summer. I don’t want to avoid being sympathetic or empathetic all together. I think that many people need empathy – not so much sympathy; but still some is good – and sometimes being kind comes with that extra side effect of providing a listening ear or a welcoming environment. I love knowing that I can provide warmth and comfort when others need it. The children in my school often have such sad little lives, and they don’t know how to deal with life in any way but angry or emotional. I like knowing that my co-workers like coming into my library and are comfortable shedding a layer of their own angst. I just need to know how to deflect it and not carry it all inside of me. This path I am on is showing me that there are others who can help me with that, by giving me tools to protect my own heart from being dragged down in the process.
For now, I sit, peacefully, in my quiet house. I am listening to a New Age Pandora station playing a song called Healing Earth. There is a cup of jasmine tea at my side, and a comfortable chair awaits me. I am about halfway through tomorrow night’s book group book at the local public library. We are reading “The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate―Discoveries from a Secret World” by Peter Wohlleben. Kind of a timely, interesting read. I was able to remain calm in the face of a not-normal day, and I am grateful for this with all my heart.
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