Book review - Nina George's The Book of Dreams

This book captivated me right from the beginning. It is a tough subject; what happens to us when we die; is there life after death, is there an alternative reality, or parallel worlds that happen along side the one we live in? Subjects that have always grabbed my attention and made me think hard about how little we know of truth and reality.

Henri is a war correspondent. His 13 year-old son Sam is a synesthete and has an IQ of 144. Sam sent Henry a note and asked to meet him for an event at his school. On the way there, Henri performs a heroic deed but is struck by a passing car, casting him into a coma. At Henri's bedside, Sam meets Eddie, who was named as healthcare surrogate in Henri's living will. Eddie is the love of Henri's life, but is also the woman that terrified him into rejecting her. Throughout Henri's coma he lives and relives different points in his life when he could have made different choices; some in which he and Sam's mother stayed together and he never met Eddie, some in which he died repeatedly in a variety of ways and scenarios. Through it all, Sam can sense his father's presence, although the prognosis from doctors is grim.

There are so many beautiful phrases that I highlighted in this book to remember for future reference - thoughts on life, on death, on love, and the reality of what it means to truly love someone. This book really kept me captivated throughout the whole story. I couldn't wait to finish it, and yet I never wanted it to end. The ending did surprise me, and yet I think it truly suited the tone the author set. What a heartbreakingly beautiful look at life, death, and all the possibilities in between. Thank you, Net Galley, for the chance to read such a captivating story in advance.

Book Review - The Honey Bus: A Memoir of Loss, Courage and a Girl Saved by Bees

Meredith May's memoir of growing up in Big Sur is the story of heart-break and resilience. She and her younger brother are relocated to California from the east coast at a very young age. The home they lived in, to her five-year-old mind, was happy and full of love until suddenly it wasn't and she no longer can spend time with her beloved father.

Meredith's mother falls into a deep depression and cannot care for herself, let alone her children, so relies on her mother and step-father to provide for their needs. Granny is distant; more worried about her own daughter than the loving care of two small children, but she provides their material needs. Grampa has a fascinating hobby - he is a beekeeper. As Meredith grows up she learns about bees and hives, and how they thrive in a supportive family environment where everyone works together.

This story is captivating and is based on Meredith May's own story of growing up with an unstable, non-nurturing mother, a distant grandmother, and a loving, caring bee-keeping grandfather. The in-depth knowledge of bees and their colonies worked so well alongside the story of a tough childhood soothed by bees, honey and the California coastal region of Big Sur.

#TheHoneyBusAmemoirOfLossCourageAndAgirlSavedByBees #NetGalley 

Me.

I have not been taking my quiet time in the morning. I have always tried to allow myself a few minutes to jot some thoughts, or just take a few deep breaths to set the pace of the day. I got really good at it, and then last week I started deviating from all that. I just haven't been able to make it work the last week or so. Yesterday it was fully in my plans, but a student got dropped off far too early by a parent. For safety, we brought her inside, and she ended up trailing me around as I did my morning tasks. Her safety was a priority over my quiet moments.

This morning I had 20 minutes left before my official starting time; 20 minutes after I completed all my little odd morning routine tasks. There is so much on my mind today; a sense of determination somehow. To not be steered away by little things that don't ultimately matter in the grand scheme of my life. The things that make me ME are not any leader's idea of who I am and what I should be doing; of how I lack. It is not the ignorant, sad, angry little child's view of the world expressed out loud and intended to wound . The Me that counts is the one who cares deeply; who strives to do good and right at every opportunity. The Me who puts heart and soul into all I do. This is the Me that counts, and this is the person I will continually strive to be.

The Me that wants to be recognized is the one who loves deeply. Who writes poetry and beautiful words. The artist who communicates with paint. The one who loves to walk in quiet woods. The one who adores sitting beside a bubbling brook and listening to the voices talking inside the water. The Me who loves snowfall, and walks mountain paths, explores the landscapes; who unearths rocks and considers them treasures from God. The Me who relishes mountain views, and who gets lost in the rhythm of waves lapping gently on a beach, or who feels intensely the waves that crash and boom on boulders. That is the Me who counts; the one I want to strive to continue being. What I go through each day on my job is just a small portion of my life; each day brings me a day closer to doing and enjoying the things I love to do; the things that are inside of Me and make me happily who I am.

It's not sunshine and rainbows today

I was called a racist today. By a fourth-grade child. The sentiment was echoed by a few others in his class; all fourth-grade boys. These are the same children who, two weeks ago accused me of pushing them. They ignored my request to turn off the computer game they snuck into instead of the eBooks they were supposed to have been reading. One was reaching over his friend to touch the keyboard, after the class was directed to sign off and line up to go. I reached over him to click the mouse to turn off the program, and he accused me repeatedly and loudly of pushing him, as he pushed my arm away from the mouse. Today these same boys called me a racist for reading a book out loud to them called Freedom Summer by Deborah Wiles. This is a beautiful, sad, sweet story of two best friends; a white boy and a black boy. The setting is the south during the civil rights movement, and John Henry’s mom works for Joe’s mom as cook and housekeeper. The boys help with chores, play marbles, swim in the creek because John Henry is not allowed in the city pool. One day the law changes and a bitter act by town folk causes emotional pain to John Henry and his family.

Today’s lesson was about the book, and the main idea of the story, but it was also to teach the students about a new reading quiz program we are invoking at my school. The read-aloud was to show them how to take a quiz. The disruptions from these boys were underhanded and mean, and it affected the entire class. Of all the classes I have shared this story and reading program with this class learned the least, sadly. It was too chaotic and too hostile of an environment for anyone to learn. And sadly? Their teacher was in the room because I asked her to be there after the last incident. She was unable to control their anger and disruptions. What a terrible climate for the other students.

In my heart of hearts, I believe I am not racist. I work in a high poverty, high needs, failing school. I cannot be a racist and love the children as I do; I do not stay because I prefer one skin color over another. I could work in a school that is easier; where I could be more of a librarian. The thought of leaving my school makes me feel like crying, because I recognize that children, no matter the income of their parents, their skin color, their religion; all of them need love, stability, kindness; support, and patience. I am there putting the needs of the children before myself or my ego. Days like today, however, stretch my patience and my kindness. They make me question if I am doing any good; maybe someone else would be better suited for this job. Are we as a society truly doing any good to these children? So many DO want to learn, do not want to be disruptive or mean, but they are sadly getting lost in the squeaky wheel needing the grease. Their continual good nature, good deeds are not being rewarded or recognized, and this is sad. It hurts my heart for the children that do want to learn.

This school year is the hardest I have ever been through. Our school grade is an F. We have new administration, and everything that has ever been done or accomplished was dismantled and thrown out the window – new year, new administration, new regime. I have spoke of this before. I honestly cannot count the teachers who have left this year; I would have to give this serious thought. One kindergarten teacher worked one day and left. This is the same class who had their teacher leave the first week of school; they are currently on their 5th teacher or long-term sub. Kindergarten; so sad. We had a first-grade teacher leave; the position was filled after another teacher left, and this new teacher worked one day and quit. I believe 11 teachers have walked away from our school this year, in addition to many vacancies never filled. Each classroom has behavior issues, even those with veteran teachers and teachers who were former principles and district level personnel. The kids walk out of the room, curse, punch, hit, kick, bite, run, climb trees, scream obscenities, throw desks and chairs, topple tables, pull things off the wall, rip things up – including more library books than I can even keep track of. There are things I won’t even write about here because they are so disturbing, but children that are in first grade through fifth should not know how to say or do those things. Teachers are supposed to teach, but I cannot see how it is possible to teach or to learn in such an environment. It breaks my heart, quite honestly.

The school district talks of incentives to attract teachers to these types of schools. They talk of extra pay, of hiring the best. Great teachers have left our school this year. It is not about the money, it is about the level of support for behaviors that are out of control. Adults being treated as we are treated by children, and a lack of support from administration are wrong. Classroom teachers who have always been able to handle their own classrooms are being given students that have been terribly disruptive in other classrooms, and they are told not to call for help. This is wrong. Behaviors are being ignored that should never be ignored; they should be addressed, not pushed under the rug. The teacher’s evaluations are suffering because it is being said they need improvement on classroom management.

Many people of the district level volunteered to work in our school; it has worked to get some extra support; a new program for kids reading that the kids will mostly appreciate. New interactive technology for next year. Loaned extra laptops from another district division. These are great, and they are intended to help the kids learn. But the kids are going to continue to not excel because behavior management is being ignored, and it is affecting everyone from administrators, teachers, cafeteria staff, cleaning crews, support staff – teachers’ evaluations and student test scores. All of the technology and reading programs are not going to work until the behaviors are managed and students have a comfortable environment to learn from.

I don’t know any of the answers. I can see the problems, but I am not the person to solve them, and I would not know where to begin. I know that what is being done is not working. I know that days like today leave me exhausted and disheartened and totally inefficient. I don’t need anyone to reassure me that I am a great librarian. I am. I don’t even need to be told I am not a racist. I am not. I am, however, wanting someone to look this problem in the face and fix it. Who that is or what the solution looks like, I have no idea. I do know that sunshine and rainbows it is not.

Humanimal: How Homo sapiens Became Nature’s Most Paradoxical Creature―A New Evolutionary History: Book Review

What an intriguing look at the fine lines that separate humans from animals, and yet really, there is not a lot of distinction genetically. The descriptions of DNA and genetic codes were easy enough to follow, and yet at the end I found myself not really close to understanding the brilliance of science and nature. I believe the point of the book was to inform readers that despite the marvelous advances in scientific research, DNA coding, continual theory, speculation, and scientific experimentation, we are still a long way from discovering the "missing link" that made us evolve as we did, and continue to do so. It is as if the more we know, the less we know despite our best efforts to figure out the complete truth of why we are here and how we are as we are.

I found the sections on sexual habits and evolution a little disturbing, and yet I know that was not the intention. They were matter-of-fact observations told in clear words, and they were not offensive, and yet it brings home the point that, really, acceptable behavior boils down to our thinking and mental process. It ties into specific current society as to what is considered acceptable and what is not, and it is also varied from country to country.  I loved reading about the mystery of the evolution of language, and although I have studied a little of the history of cave paintings and Venus sculptures, this was a fresh look and more in-depth with knowledge that dates back to far beyond what I have learned in the past. I particularly like the fact that at the end the author states that he did his own research based on the work of other scientists and their works. It's really a compilation of pared down research done by others,. He does give credit where credit is due.

This is a fascinating look at evolution. It is not a book that most people, in general, will pick up and read; it is not a light, easy, get-lost-in-the-story kind of book, and I am uncertain as to a true audience that will appreciate it. I did appreciate in the end, although I also found some of the science throughout a bit over my head. I am glad for a chance to read and review it. It is not a genre or a book I would generally pick up and read from cover-to-cover, but I did in this instance and I am glad that I did.

Finding Dorothy - Book Review

Such an interesting read - historical fiction about the story of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and the life of L. Frank Baum. I loved the entire story; how the beloved Oz series came to be written, who the character of Dorothy was based on, the fight for women's freedoms, alongside Maud's intention to be sure the movie stayed true to her husband's vision. It is a work of fiction based on historical events, and the author states which parts she took liberties with at the end. I found this to be an entirely delightful story. The vocabulary intrigued me, as well. The story is full of old-fashioned turn-of-the-century Victorian phrases which give the storyline an even more authentic feel.

The story opens with Maud (Gage) Baum trying to speak with Louis B. Mayer about the casting of the role of Dorothy Gale in MGMs 1939 movie based on the The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Maude is 77 and not afraid to voice her opinion; she promised Frank before his death in 1919 that she would keep Oz true to the story. It travels back and forth from 1939 as the movie is being made throughout Maud's life, beginning when she was just 9 years old. Maud's mother was a famous suffragist who marched alongside her dear friend Susan B. Anthony, and Maud was raised to believe that she could do anything she set her mind to. Her life and marriage to Frank was long and happy, but they did experience ups and downs in their lives. Frank's occupation did not always provide a stable income, but the family made due.

Maud Gage was born to a comfortable existence in upstate New York, and she attended Cornell University just a few years after women were allowed to attend. As a native New Yorker myself, I loved reading about the places Frank, Maud, and their families lived; Fayetteville, Syracuse, Chittenango, Mattydale, Ithaca. It made the story hit a little closer to home, somehow.

I Owe You One - Book Review

Sophie Kinsella has a knack for quirky, odd, fun characters, and I Owe You One is no exception. In one review, a reader did not care for Kinsella's unbelievable characters, but I simply find them charming and fun, and I especially cannot take the fiction seriously or to heart; I consider Kinsella's books to be highly entertaining and a great way to escape life's more serious escapades. The main character Fixie gets her nickname honestly; she always feels a need to "fix" things and it often gets her in trouble. She has a heart of gold and cannot stand to cause controversy, although her aggressive brother, flighty sister, and user-loser boyfriend cause plenty of over the top controversy for poor Fixie. Enter a chance encounter with a handsome stranger, and Fixie's life changes course.

I found it fun, very entertaining and a great way to get lost in a book.