I do not want my Substack or blog to become a political outlet. I want to keep it safe for stories, anecdotes and things which are on my mind as I continue on through my life, whichever version of myself I am up to now. But I have to say, today my mind is full of political chatter and it’s hard to stay quiet during a time we need to stand up for what we believe in and take charge of our lives. I feel justice is not being fairly or kindly served. So for today I will take a small stand and say what is on my mind.
My favorite fiction book has long been Stephen King’s The Stand. In both the movie and book, the character of Harold Lauder is a major antagonist. He is young when the plague hits, and he and Fran are left alone in their hometown seeking others to commune with. Harold realizes that they cannot stay put, and need to seek the company of others. He is clever and inventive, almost fearless, but, he is also pompous and pretentious. All he really wants is for Fran to love and cherish him. Harold has a chance to do well in the new society that is formed whenever the survivors gather in Boulder, but Randall Flagg, the main antagonist of the story, recognizes Harold’s weakness for Fran and a desire for power, and he plays upon Harold’s basic desires of the heart. Harold, along with help from Nadine Cross, Flagg’s intended bride, creates a bomb to destroy the leaders of the new community. When Harold and Nadine flee Boulder after the detonation, Harold meets with a devastating accident which leaves him alive but in a state of which he will not survive; he served his purpose and Flagg wants him gone. Too late, Harold realizes he could have been an important leader in the new community and could have been someone special if he had not let his jealousies and insecurities take over his emotions. Before he commits suicide, he writes a note seeking forgiveness. He writes “And when the end comes, and when, it is as horrible as good men always knew it would be, there is only one thing to say as all those good men approach the Throne of Judgement: I was misled.”
I have been thinking of Harold Lauder since last night when I read about the happenings in our country this weekend; the purposeful ruination and antagonism of trade alliances with our two closest neighbors. I’ve been picturing some of these major players showing remorse one day and saying you know what; I was wrong - I was misled. I’ve been thinking of how the control of the finances of our government has been handed over to a non-elected, non-government official and several college students with no experience or training in having such access to the veins of the country. Today I am thinking of students not coming to school because of raids of ICE preying upon their illegal status. These are children who are innocent; children who deserve a future, and whose parents sought out a better life here in America. The majority of immigrants are not criminals doing harm to others. They just want to make a life in America. They should be safe here and they are not. It should be enough that they just want a better life and are working hard to obtain it. So many Americans are not safe today; if they identify as a different gender from which they were born, if they love someone of the same sex as they, if their skin and pedigree are not “white” enough. Even those of us born as women - our rights are being stripped away by a political force who consider the general American people “not enough” on any playing field; none of us who are not white males are safe right now. Government employees are threatened with dismissal if they are not loyal enough to a misogynistic, racist, bigoted tyrant. I am not one to call names, and I do not believe in it. I have not stooped to that in my past nor will I in my future. I believe these labels are not name calling. It is stating obvious facts. Those who dominant right now tell us it is going to get rough before it gets better. But I can promise that those who are saying that it will get rougher are not going to experience what the majority of Americans will face as hardship going forward; skyrocketing food prices, rent, mortgages, insurance; the cost of living; these have little significance or impact on those who are majorly wealthy already. The wealthy stand to gain even more wealth if the trajectory of things continues as it is. The wealthy become wealthier and the division between financial security and poverty increases dramatically.
To paraphrase Stephen King and Harold Lauder - so many of us are being misled. What is happening in our country is not being supported or approved of by many citizens of our country. We are being thrown into chaos, and no one is able to keep any of it straight anymore. America is supposed to be the home of the free and the brave. We are supposed to embrace diversity, equity, and justice for all. It seems to me that a witch hunt is happening all around us, and those of us who are not white enough, not of cookie cutter religiosity, who are not “straight” enough are being condemned just by existing. I am truly terrified for the America in which I grew up; I am terrified to see the writing on the wall and the fear in which so many of us live right now.
I believe in hope. I believe in always trying to see the rainbow through torrential rain. I believe in kindness and love and honesty. I will not change myself through this metamorphosis we are living through. I believe life is a pendulum and what goes up truly has to come down. That is the cycle of life. I saw a meme the other day of Ruth Bader Ginsberg saying almost this identical thing. Maya Angelou once quoted a country song and said that every storm runs out of rain, and it is true. It is hard to watch, hard to stay hopeful, hard to believe the rain will stop, but I believe we have to. Personally, I can change nothing in this world except myself. Mel Robbins coined “Let Them”. Let them do as they will; I cannot change them or anyone else. I can be patient, kind and honest but I cannot be silent because the time for sitting in silence is beyond us now. What I think and feel has no impact on anyone but myself, and I refuse to stoop to a level where I cannot be kind, yet I also believe in standing up and using my voice the best I can. To be silent and say nothing is to allow others to change me, and my choice is to say what I believe to be true.
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