Life Lessons and Aging

Age. It’s on my mind. I believe that no matter our physical age, the time to live, the time to shine is now. My friend and I had a discussion a few weeks ago. She believes at 17, THAT was her time; she owned her home city and she was the vibrancy of the future. She believes now, at 55 that it is her children’s time to shine – and that she should step aside and give way to their right to do so. Not her exact words, but that was the implication.

I can’t I just can’t. I believe that if we are alive today it is our time to live, to shine – to create, to learn, to grow; to LIVE. Once we are gone from this world – whatever our beliefs are on the subject, we are just gone, and it is too late to live the life we are meant to live. We must do it; live; while we are here, regardless of age or circumstance. We have but one life to live in this here and now. I remember the quote attributed to Nathan Hale, Revolutionary war spy: “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country”. It speaks volumes, and always made a huge impact on me. I don’t regret anything – life is as it supposed to be – and I have but one life to live.

We can learn from each other, youth and my generation; each and every generation, regardless of who we are, where we live, what we know now. It is the way it has been throughout history.

The stories around Paleolithic campfires were a way of sharing knowledge from the old to the young. The young heeded warnings, advice, tips, tricks, or they did not live long enough to tell their own stories around campfires in the future. There is so much wisdom in older generations.

As a youth myself I remember looking forward to the stories my ancestors would tell; of their childhood, of growing up, what it was like. I loved reading books about the early years of famous historical figures just to see what their lives were like when they were my age. I never believed I was better than anyone because I was younger – and I certainly did not look at those younger (or older) than myself and think, oh they know nothing and do not count. As a young adult I became even more entranced by the stories of those older than me. The man whose family owned the acreage behind my property had such fascinating tales of his youth back in the 1920s Florida; the Florida of wild, unsettled, unfenced, un-touristy days. Days when cattle could wander wherever their hooves took them, and they were gathered by cowboys, and driven back to market or to the homesteads. My father-in-law lived here in Florida for many long years, and his wisdom was originally derived from Macon, Georgia, plus his time spent in Greenland during World War 2. From both older Florida gentlemen, I learned the best way to cook chicken over an oak fire – the secret is vinegar and butter, and the charcoal must be gathered from oak trees that have fallen and aged to dried perfection. They should not be too dry or too wet, and should be a mixture of both, which takes time and patience. They taught me how to pull peanuts from the ground, shake off the sand, then strip them from their bush; how to soak them clean, and then to boil them with a ton of salt. After my father-in-law died, Felton would bring me vegetables and tell me the southern preferred way of fixing “a mess” of them. I believe in these shared lessons, in these shared experiences; I am a central New Yorker from hearty European (and Native American) stock; our methods of doing things is so vastly different. We don’t have to create the wheel each time; we can learn and grow and build from the knowledge of others. So no. I don’t believe it is just one generations time to shine, to live, to take over. I believe with all my heart as long as we are here, alive, right now – now IS our time to shine.

At 57 I will not be stepping aside for anyone to take over my life and my world. I still have my own living to do, my own mark to make. We all do. Each day is a gift, a blessing, a day to be treasured. I still have a lot to experience, and a lot of lessons to learn.