The Blessing of Life, and Friendships

Colorado Springs

I’ve been blessed in my life to have friends and friendships. There was a time when I let friends drift from my life; I considered my husband my best friend and all I needed, so I never really felt deprived. He was there always, for many years; a shoulder, a listening ear, consolation. He was like no other friend I’d had. He truly listened, and he could calm me like any lighthouse in a storm could. He was strong and kind, considerate; he was my rock, before that became a cheesy phrase. Until he was not all those things, and then I realized just how isolated I had made my life. Fortunately, about a year before his departure I met Edel through a chance walk, and she has remained my beacon in a stormy sea. She is there when I need an ear, a shoulder; she is my voice of reason, and she grounds me when it feels as though the seas surrounding me will swallow me whole. Our lives are vastly different now from when we met, but her presence in my life is a steady constant that I depend upon. Through her I have continued to grow a circle of friends, and they are each one vital to my life.

Honoring Wanda, Casey Key

There is a line from the movie, St. Elmo’s Fire that has always made an impression on me; “I don’t remember who met, or who fell in love with who first”. The gist of that is what matters to me – it doesn’t matter who we meet, how long we’ve been friends, it just works and something inside clicks. It’s the right moment for that kind of friendship; the person meant to be in our lives as the universal lines of life intersect at that exact moment.

Wanda and I

My friends, Dawn and Wanda; I met their mother, Loretta, first. Loretta came to my shop one day for ceramics. She had seen my roadside sign and stopped in; it turns out she lives just down the road. That was a long time ago; close to 20 years. That sign, before the county made me remove it, brought so much joy and friendship to me; I am not sure I could ever begin to list them all or touch on how much that means. Having my little ceramic shop added such joy to the fabric of my life. One day during ceramics class Loretta said, “you need to meet my daughters; I know you will be friends”, and she was right. Dawn is still on the fringes of my life; our courses have strayed over the years, but I still smile when I see her, and I love being around her. Wanda was a beacon of light and goodness, and we spent years’ worth of time at the beach, here at my house doing ceramics or eating, drinking, talking, laughing, crying. She was never perfect, could be very quiet and people just assumed a passivity about her, unless you knew her. Her face glowed from within, and her smile could light up a room.

Through Wanda I met Tammy,

Tammy, Wanda, Me, Casey Key

which expanded to Maryann and all the friends we share, on toward Kathleen, who is one of the most dear people in my life. Eventually we met Kitty, and on and on; the list has just snowballed as life rolls forward, so many door openings for friends, acquaintances, experiences. It is the direction my life was meant to go. But, eleven years ago we lost Wanda one hot, humid day in mid-July. The bonds of friendship can tighten when something so unthinkable happens. She was young, beautiful, in the prime of life; just past her 37th birthday and she died from a blood clot that no one even suspected she had. Together we stood in front of her family and friends, and we delivered her eulogy; the joys and sorrows of her life, and we wept. It did not matter at that time who met who first; what mattered is that we all had been touched by her life.

Our Wanda Angel, captured by Julian

Friendships are on my mind today, however, because of Wanda and Dawn; Loretta. Loretta’s husband is one of the men in my life I adore. Jules, JuJu – Julian. Before Wanda’s death we attended Loretta and Julian’s 40th anniversary party. There are so many memories stored away since that party; parties here at my house, meeting for dinner, attending showers, funerals, gatherings; just a few days before I left this summer, I took a picture of them sitting at my dining room table. I truly love them. The year after Wanda’s death, 17 of us traveled to Colorado Springs to honor Wanda’s life and to scatter her ashes in the land of her birth. Loretta and Julian have gone each year since, except this one, to visit where we honored her. It’s heartbreaking; her death began a new life for them, and although they’ve steadily fought age, it is still seeking them. Julian has battled cancer and other ailments over the years. His body has been poked and prodded, cut on, treated, and so on. His mind stays sharp, even if his body is not. He made me laugh the last time I saw him, and I thought, after all he has been through, he still is Julian. The other day Julian had a stroke, and it remains that he needs open heart surgery. I’ve not yet been to see him. I don’t know what to expect, I just know friendships and how our lives are all so intricately intertwined are all on my mind today. Life and love, friendships – they are all such blessings. They can be painful at times, but the living is so very worth the sadness and pain.

Loretta and Julian

Sister Hazel, Janus Landing

One night at my house

Hanging out at Kitty's