Thankful

 

For the past 10 or more years I have traveled over Thanksgiving, and often Christmas break. I have missed two years of my travels over the years; one because I tore my hamstring and was on crutches for weeks; the thought of SeaTac or Portland Airport was far too daunting to maneuver. The second time I missed was the Covid year that we all stayed home. This was a third year missed.

The first year I was alone in my life - 20+ years ago, my dear friend Edel shared her family with me - and for many years after that we had Thanksgiving here. My own family were far away; my aunts and uncles came to Florida after Thanksgiving, but I had always had Steve and his family to cook for; my first year alone was so scary. I always loved to cook and entertain, and Edel was gracious and kind enough to continue sharing her family as her kids grew up. We had a joke when the kids were really little that I was in charge of their manners and etiquette. It makes me laugh, but the value of our long friendship sometimes touches my heart so much it brings tears to my eyes. God and the Angels put us in each others path that day - quite literally - at a time when I would need her the very most. We met walking. I was recently "retired" from Publix corporate office, not yet working at Barnes & Noble; not yet even thinking of being a librarian, and I had a lot of hours to fill. Her youngest, Rebecca, was very young when we met; just 18 months old. We bumped into each other, on the road between our houses; we live 1/2 mile apart and had never met before; Edel walking Rebecca in her stroller, me walking Cisco. She invited me back for coffee and that was the start of our friendship so long ago. Rebecca is now 25. In those years since then her family and mine have intertwined, spent hours and hours, and multitudes of holidays together chatting, sharing, growing, living, learning, celebrating. We've been through happiness, silliness, illness, life, and death. They've been to New York with me, I went to Ireland and spent time with them. True blessings of joy - thick and thin of all the things life has to share. Friendship that I never, ever take for granted. Edel grounds me with her practicality when I need it the most. She makes me think, and we have fabulous moments of deep discussion, and sometimes just moments of silence that are true blessings. The first year we spent apart for Thanksgiving, when I started traveling, was really difficult; yet I knew it was time for new traditions and experiences, too. This year I did not travel for a variety of reasons, and she had to work, so this year it was dinner for just John and I. I found myself ok, yet missing the Pacific Northwest and Edel and her family in equal parts. I still counted my blessings.

In our travels out west we stay up in the mountains until dark - and when you are in the far northwest, dark comes fairly early. The first year we came down from the mountains and discovered most every place to eat dinner - let alone Thanksgiving - was closed due to the holiday. And eating places in that more rural region are pretty few and far between as well. Out west, too, even McDonald's closes on the holiday - as they should! We found a little restaurant; Shari's, which is a little like Denny's but with more cozy, comfort food. It was fun and dinner was good. From then on we would have "Thanksgiving" dinner at Shari's or Denny's in Kelso, WA. A few years back we discovered, by accident, a place called Grumpy's on Rockaway Beach, OR, about 15ish miles from Tillamook. That was a true fun find; a local bakery which serves a complete Thanksgiving meal. Last year we went back to Rockaway Beach, but we missed Grumpy's - we went into the hills near Tillamook and it was not yet open. We ended up in Denny's in  Tillamook. My sister said yesterday "well, at least you don't have to eat at Denny's this year". True enough, but part of the tradition we created is the fun of looking for someplace open to at least eat something! I missed travel this year. I miss the mountains - they are calling me, and I can hear them even from this distance of 3100 miles all the way across the country. I also know when I get a chance to go back, the steady loveliness will be waiting to welcome me with open arms. I will feel that comfortable feeling of a deep breath taken and held deep inside myself; of being surrounded by the steady rhythm of life out there. I cooked dinner yesterday - turkey and all the trimmings, and it was really nice; a quiet day spent in my home. Still, I heard the voice of the mountains calling deep within me all day long. For now, Thanksgiving, quiet at home - and I am counting the blessings of all life has given me, for the memories, and also, gratitude for what is to come. 

Here's to friendship

Rockaway Beach, OR

Windswept Rockaway Beach

Mortality

 Life and death are on my mind today. Our friends in South Carolina lost their father last night. He lived a beautiful life for 93 years. He was one of the kindest, sweetest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. A long time ago - back in the early/mid '80s mom moved in to the house kitty-corner from the Thompson family; their backyards connected to a point, and both yards were fenced. Their grandson, Travis, was the first to meet mom, and soon the family became entwined. I think he told mom she would go to hell for cursing - or so the story goes - when he heard her out in the back yard. At first they used a stepladder to go over the fence to visit (going around the corner StreetSide was not nearly as fun!), and eventually they put a gate in for easy access. True backdoor neighbors. Mom and Jan drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, crafted and chatted for hours and years, seemingly on end. The Thompsons were second family to us all - even if we did not live close by. 

Life and death happen - mom died suddenly, then Jan a few years later, in a not so-sudden slower path. We have taken solace that mom and Jan were in heaven together watching all of us. Now John has joined them so many years later. His life without Jan was lonely, I know. Despite children and grandchildren close by - despite Kerri moving in with him this past year. He has to be at peace in the arms of his love again - and I believe that mom is right there in the house across the backyard, still.

Last week my friends lost their mother/mother-in-law, Veronica. She, too, was 93. She had 11 children and a plethora of grandchildren. Another beautiful life lived. She was a devout Catholic and supported her church in so many ways and capacities. Last night at the viewing I was enthralled by the family photos through the years; showing her young, progressing as the children came along, and life just continued into older age. Such beauty in a life lived so well and for so long. To be so adored by one's children; true blessings and joys. Life in a large family is not always easy. It is often messy and full of angst. But family, through thick and thin, bond in so many ways and it's lovely to live in the middle of that chaos.

Today is the "Deathaversary" of my friend Maryann's mom, Louise. Louise died just a few months shy of her 90th birthday. She was full of life - full of joie de vivre. She exuded it in her smile, in her appreciation for the smallest pleasures and her zest for being part of everything. Her death at 89 was sudden and unexpected; I truly believed she was a woman who would live until her 100th year at least. 

My own mother died young; just 63. Mom-Carole was 80. My mother-in-law was not yet 60, nor was my grandmother. Tammy's mom was young as well; just 70. Sometimes we lose loved ones when it feels they are not yet done living.

The legacy people leave behind is joyous, to me. So many experiences, so much happiness and sorrow; so many changes brought about by the world as a whole. To leave a family behind is to be remembered. I did not know Veronica, but I know several of her children, and I know that they live lives that reflect how they were raised. I knew Jan, John, Louise - my mom(s). I remember smiles and laughter; bountiful love and sorrow. I remember lessons learned, conversations both fun and heavy all around. Life is so very beautiful. And, in death, so are the memories. In a memorable movie line from Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, Patrick tells Demi - "it's amazing the love inside? You take it with you".

I started searching for photo's to share here with my words - and so quickly became flooded with thousands of memories. Mom's together, aunts, uncles, cousins no longer with us, yet preserved with smiling faces as we captured moments in photos. So many moments, so many blessings. The love inside - you take it with you, but it also stays inside to warm our hearts as we remember.